How to Choose a Therapist Without a Perfect Method

Choosing a therapist is a decision you have to make using exactly the faculties the problem is interfering with.

That is an awkward position, and most advice on it is not much help. Directory profiles all sound similar. Modality acronyms mean little from the outside. And you are often making the choice at a point when comparing options carefully is precisely what you do not have spare capacity for. CBT in Washington DC.

So here is what I would actually pay attention to, including where it does not favor me.

Fit predicts more than method does

People agonize over choosing the right approach. In my view, whether you can be honest with the person does more work than which framework they trained in.

A method you believe in is hard to use with someone you brace yourself around. Use the consultation to notice whether you relaxed slightly or tightened up.

Ask what a first session would actually look like

A therapist should be able to describe this plainly. If the answer is entirely abstract, that is worth noticing.

You can also ask directly what happens if you are not ready to talk about something. The answer tells you a great deal about pace, and pace is where a lot of this work succeeds or fails.

Notice whether they are willing to say no

This is the one I would weight most heavily.

If someone tells you they can help with absolutely everything, that is a marketing position, not a clinical one. A therapist who will say this is not my area and point you elsewhere is showing you their judgment, and judgment is what you are actually hiring.

I would rather lose a fit that was not right than take it and waste your money proving it.

Take licensure seriously, and check location rules

For counseling, where you are sitting during the session generally matters more than where the therapist’s office is. That surprises people, and it matters if you live in one jurisdiction and work in another, or if you are considering remote sessions.

It is reasonable to ask a therapist directly where they are licensed and whether they can see you where you actually are. Any competent clinician will answer that plainly. For my part, I am licensed as a Licensed Professional Counselor in the District of Columbia, license LPC #PRC 14494.

Practical constraints are legitimate criteria

Cost, scheduling and travel are not shallow considerations. A therapist you cannot afford to see consistently, or cannot reliably get to, is not the right therapist regardless of how good the first conversation was.

For most people, a schedule they can actually keep beats a more intensive one they cannot. Build for the schedule you actually have.

You are allowed to change your mind

Two or three sessions in, you will know things you could not have known from a profile. If it is not working, saying so is not rude and it is not failure. Good therapists expect it and would rather hear it than have you disappear politely.

If you are somewhere in this process

You do not need a diagnosis or a tidy summary to book a first conversation. A consultation is mostly about whether the way I work fits what you are carrying, and that decision runs in both directions.

If I am not the right fit, I will tell you, and I will try to point you somewhere better.

Ariel VanDoren, LPC

True North Psychotherapy

1555 Connecticut Avenue NW, Suite 401A, Washington DC 20036

202.599.0522